Loss & Love, Bitter & Sweet

I just realized anew that I don’t have any more grandparents. When I was young, I had six: all four parents of my parents, plus my maternal great-grandparents. Now none. And worse, my dad is gone. There’s this whole swath, this whole foundational support, gone. And so much history resting on my mom’s precious shoulders.

I have to believe that their love goes on. I feel it sometimes. I’m not sure if they would understand or approve of everything about my life, but they loved me, and I don’t think anything could’ve made them stop. Especially my dad– one of my biggest fans and greatest loves. A never-ceasing  source of support, positivity, and compassion.

I feel their love, and I feel the loss of them, as much as I let myself. Trying to let it all in: the loss and the love, the bitter and the sweet. If there is to be healing and growth, it’s in being with what is here, and offering compassion to myself. Sending so much compassion to all others who are grieving or in pain in this moment.

 

Allow
By Danna Faulds

There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt,
containing a tornado.  Dam a
stream and it will create a new
channel.  Resist, and the tide
will sweep you off your feet.
Allow, and grace will carry
you to higher ground.  The only
safety lies in letting it all in –
the wild and the weak; fear,
fantasies, failures and success.
When loss rips off the doors of
the heart, or sadness veils your
vision with despair, practice
becomes simply bearing the truth.
In the choice to let go of your
known way of being, the whole
world is revealed to your new eyes.

img_6377

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s